The sun rises again and hope with it.

I am not clinically depressed (my own diagnoses).  But depressed yes.  There are degrees of being depressed, blue, down in the dumps, hopeless, useless, grey days, black days.  As I get older I have of recent come to most appreciate the power of hope.  Hope has the ability to infuse you with a desire to not give up when you are flailing about trying to come up for another gasp of air and live a few more seconds.  The hope that someone or something will bring you out of the ocean onto shore and lay you gently on the beach, wrap you in a blanket and offer you comfort and encouragement.  The hope that as the Bible states in a passage "This too shall pass."  Like a tornado, it comes and goes, only to leave you in a very different place than you were a few minutes earlier.


Having faced many challenges in your youth, and then find that getting older brings on even more, you begin to feel very tired.  You endured the challenges of your youth with fervor, now you are not so fit and have been defeated so so many times that giving up has a very enticing aroma. 


All around you are people and you are alone.  Each person is coping with their own inner struggle to find a place that fits.  Trying to meet the expectations of home life, work life and society, along with their own inner expectations. Is this hell?  Hell is a place where no one cares about anyone except self, only to find that without another you cannot achieve a sense of peace and purpose for being. How to find balance in an unbalanced world?  Facing East in the middle of a crowd rushing West.  Emotions and feelings are like a class 5 whitewater; takes a lot of skill and strength to navigate through them without being battered on craggy rocks or go over a waterfall to meet with death on rocks below.


Where do you want to go?  Answer: Peace, harmony, health, a feeling of wholeness of being.  Feeling that you are doing what you are supposed to be doing with a sense of fulfillment inside. Where are you?  I am blindfolded, set lose in a rat maze, with the promise of cheese and hope that I find the right path.

Comments

  1. cathy jonesJuly 10, 2011 at 11:50 AM

    I agree with you Amanda. Hope is a powerful word with a lot of meaning. But the older I get the harder it becomes not to find myself being cynical about it. Still I struggle to keep hope. And will.
    Good post. And I hope you will continue to hope. It can bring a balance to the down side.

    ReplyDelete

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